Fashinosta's Blog

Decembrie 21, 2015

I AM HAPPY

Filed under: Fără categorie — ruxirux @ 10:11 pm

I’ve been thinking about starting this for a while. I guess I never had the courage or the inspiration I needed in order to be able to finish what already started years ago. I am not a writer, nor will ever be.

I have numerous documents in my computer that have never been read. I remember exchanging a couple of them with Nuria, but that was all it. I never meant for my writing to be extraordinary, I just felt the need to copy my thoughts somewhere, so that when I re-read them, I would get the same feeling I did in that specific moment. I didn’t want to lose the feelings I had, those which made me write.

That is what brought me here today. I know that by the time you will be reading this, it will be old and overwritten, not spontaneous and I will have changed. But it is now that I feel I should write about myself. You will understand. At least I do.

Right now, I just got home and sat on the bed, immediately after taking my street clothes off and I felt an urge to put some of my feelings on paper so that they don’t disappear.

I am happy. Everything I wished for this year has happened. I have changed. I see a difference. Others see it too; especially those who I’ve broke contact with for a while. They’ve asked me why I had disappeared for so long without a word. And I told them I had to. I had to see for myself who I was and who I wanted to become. It was not easy and sometimes I thought I knew what the answer was and then it changed again…and again.

NOW I think I am in a good place. I don’t know much about what is going to happen in the next year of my life, but I am certain it will be………….nothing like it was up until now.

Everything is changing. I am changing. I am leaving everything behind and starting all over again. I need this. I don’t even realize that what is about to happen is real. I am indeed counting the days until my leave.

I don’t plan to make an entrance, but I know I will. I always do. I can’t wait.

Anunțuri

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